Hello, Goodbye...

It seems I've said so many goodbyes in my life. Each time leaves me feeling so sad and so empty inside, wondering how I am going to fill that void in my life that was filled by the person I am saying goodbye to.

When I was younger, it didn't seem to matter quite so much, those goodbyes. I always thought there would be plenty of time, plenty of tomorrows...

During my lifetime, I've moved around alot. It seems I've always been a gypsy, going where the wind blows. As long as I had my family with me, all was well. Home, for me, was wherever my children were. That was all that mattered.

So many goodbyes, some tearful, some not so tearful, have been said by my lips and my heart. Always, the promise of "we'll keep in touch. I'll come see you". And, always, that was our last contact. So many dear friends I have loved and miss.

Earlier this year, I kissed my daughter, Dani, goodbye and sent her on her way to Chicago to chase her dreams. Tomorrow I will kiss my daughter, Jaime, and her two beautiful little boys goodbye and send them on their way to Kansas to wait for Mark's homecoming and to live their lives.

I am proud of my girls for being healthy and independent enough to live their own lives. They are strong, healthy, able women. I know I did my job as their mother in raising them to be this way. This is their time.

And I know, my daughters are never more than a phone call or a plane trip away. But I miss Dani and I'm going to miss Jaime and Aiden and Sean.

When I kiss and hug them goodbye tomorrow, I know it is not forever. I can send them on their way and feel a sense of pride in Jaime. When we see each other again, the boys will be bigger and stronger and meaner and I will take great joy in being their Gramma for a little while before I send them on their way again.

I need to find new people to say hello to, knowing full well that someday I'll have to say goodbye...again.

God, I hate goodbyes.

Amy