Full Circle

Sometimes I have what some people might call a funny way of looking at life. I have this tendency to look at life and time not so much in a linear fashion but rather, in a circular fashion. As in the song from the Lion King called the Circle of Life, I see a very balanced time and season for everything; a definite beginning and an end, but then a beginning again. The circle never ends and is constantly in motion.

We are born, we live our lives, we die and are born again in some fashion.

During our lives, we can see this pattern as well, although with variations.

My life has just completed a five year cycle or circle. It began on November 27, 2003 when my son, Jeremy, celebrated his 22nd and very last birthday on this earth. That day was also Thanksgiving Day. His birthday would not again fall on Thanksgiving Day until yesterday, November 27, 2008. That year I had to work, so had not planned any kind of Thanksgiving feast or celebration. Jeremy was going to spend the day with his dad. Jaime was in Utah. I don't remember where Dani was. Maxx and I planned to have comfort food for dinner (spam & taters - yum!). Jeremy showed up at the house unexpectedly with his car full of his belongings and his last Thanksgiving/birthday meal was spam and taters, which he ate without complaint.

I am looking at a picture on my desk taken November 29, 2003. The picture is of my husband, Maxx, Jeremy and me taken in the morning at Huntsville, Texas when we drove Jeremy to report for active duty in the U.S. Army Reserves. Jeremy is in his camos and has his arms around both me and Maxx. It was a Saturday. That day and that moment are burned in my psyche now.

This is a turning point for me. Every last holiday, every day, every last time I saw Jeremy and every event like his death day and his funeral will fall on exactly the same day of the week that it happened the year he died.

However, things are a bit different now than they were five years ago. I will no longer be going through that terrible time of mourning that rocked my world for so long. Maxx and I are both working (though we still don't make enough to make ends meet most of the time). I have a handsome, amazing, joyful grandson and another grandbaby on the way. Jaime is married to a good, solid, loving husband who is in Iraq and Dani is engaged to a pretty and intelligent young woman who is finding her own way in the world. Dani will be graduating from automotive school on the anniversary of her brother's death, so we will have a reason to celebrate that day instead of feeling sad.

The war in Iraq will be coming to an end, even if it's not fast enough. We have a new President that, in my opinion, deserves to be given every chance in the world to succeed. I am happy to say that I won't feel embarassed by my president any more, who has managed to look like one of the least intelligent buffoons in the history of this country and who has caused more heartache, pain and grief than I thought imaginable.

I spent this last "cycle" of my life mourning and then finding an outlet for my sadness and anger in helping to end the war in Iraq and helping to awaken the American psyche from the deep, perpetual sleep we have all been in. There is still work to do in these areas, but a Great Awakening has begun and will continue without my help.

And now, to honor my son and those he served with, for this next cycle, I'll be turning my attention to veteran's issues and rights. We, as a Nation, while not hesitant to send our sons and daughters to war, are hesitant to take proper care of them when they return home injured and torn. We have turned a blind eye to our veterans for far too long. I know too many young ones who are broken and bruised but are only being let down by the country and people they served. This really is one of the great tragedies and dirty, hidden secrets of our lifetimes.

And so, for Jeremy, my handsome, brave son who has completed his circle of life, I will do what I can to help his buddies as he would have done.

Peace,

Amy

Remembering Jeremy

There are some dates in our lives that will be forever marked "special". Tomorrow is one of those days.

Not just because it's Thanksgiving, but because it would have been my son's 27th birthday if he were still alive.

It's hard for me to believe that it's been five years since we spent Jeremy's 22nd birthday with him, which was also on Thanksgiving Day that year. It was on Saturday that my husband and I took Jeremy to report to his Army Reserves Unit to report for active duty. He was in the 961st Quartermasters.

One of Jeremy's friends from the 961st called me today. It made me feel so good to know that he still thinks about and misses his friend. Thank you, Mario, for your phone call. You cannot know how good you made me feel.

Yes, I am sad, but I think the sadness has been replaced by a sense of being grateful for the time I had to be Jeremy's Mom. I will always remember the moment of his birth and his big, beautiful eyes looking up at me. I will forever remember his first words and his adorable baby face. The sound of Jeremy's voice is burned into my heart -- especially the way he said "Hello, Mother" when he called me.

So, this Thanksgiving Day, I give thanks for Jeremy and his life.

I give thanks for my beautiful, amazing daughters that I get to spend the day with.

I give thanks for the gift of my grandson, Aiden, who is my joy.

And I give thanks for Maxx, my husband, partner, lover, best friend and confidant without whom I would not have been able to live through so much heartache and sorrow.

I am truly blessed.

Oh, and Jeremy, I feel you. I know you are looking over my shoulder. And I love you with all my heart, always and forever.

Peace,

Amy

VA Protection Not Considered By Democrats

A resolution that would have called for protection of the West Los Angeles VA property from any uses by “a non-veterans organization or for any non-veterans-related purpose” was barred from consideration at the California Democratic Party Executive Board Meeting in Anaheim on Saturday, November 15.

Because of recent rule changes advancing the deadline for submitting such resolutions, the VA property resolution was filed two days late, explained Bob Handy, who chairs the California Democratic Party Veterans Caucus and who was one of the resolution’s authors. The Resolutions Committee agreed to entertain the resolution nevertheless, said Handy, with the proviso that any one member of the Committee could veto its consideration, and that is what happened.

Julie Dad, a Santa Monica delegate at the gathering, said that John Hanna, a Resolutions Committee member from Orange County, objected to the consideration of the resolution, and so it never made it to the General Session. The next time the resolution can be considered by the statewide party will be at the party’s state convention in Sacramento April 24-26, 2009, Dad said.

Handy said that he personally had not been pressured to abandon the resolution, but that he had been told by other supporters that considerable political pressure was being brought to bear against the resolution.

The resolution grew out of concerns by Handy and others who object to an August 2007 “Sharing Agreement” between the VA and an organization known as the Veterans Park Conservancy whereby approximately 16 acres of the VA property at the northeast corner of Wilshire and San Vicente Boulevards is to be used as a park “for the benefit of veterans and the general public.” The 20-year agreement provides for no rent to the VA, but provides that the Conservancy shall undertake certain capital improvements “as resources become available.”

In a statement in support of the resolution, Robert L. Rosebrock, Co-Director of We the Veterans and Director of The Veterans Revolution, said, “This land is under the stewardship of the 30th U.S. Congressional District, Henry Waxman’s District, which he has represented over the past 35 years. It is imperative that Congressman Waxman decides if he is looking out for Veterans ‘needs’ at the largest VA healthcare in the nation, or the ‘wants’ of one of the wealthiest Zip Codes in the nation.”

The resolution stated that “a public park, despite its value to the whole community, is inconsistent with the exclusive use for veterans envisioned by the donors [of the property in 1888], and the trust conveyed in their deed to the United States.” Handy said the resolution had been signed by over a hundred persons from across the United States and across party lines, including Sen. Art Torres (Ret.), Chairman of the California Democratic Party and Santa Monica City councilmember Bobby Shriver.

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Resolution to Protect a National Sacred Trust

Whereas the property on which the Los Angeles National Veterans Home is located was irrevocably deeded to the nation 120 years ago by John P. Jones and Arcadia de Baker as a place dedicated for the “sole purpose of providing veterans a place to heal from war”; and

Whereas the Veterans Administration has awarded rent-free occupancy for 20 years of a 16-acre portion of that land to the Veterans Park Conservancy, not a veterans organization but a local community organization, for use, in the Conservancy’s words, “for the enjoyment and education of the entire community”; and

Whereas a public park, despite its value to the whole community, is inconsistent with the exclusive use for veterans envisioned by the donors, and the trust conveyed in their deed to the United States.

Therefore Be It Resolved that the California Democratic Party joins The California American Legion, Veterans United for Truth, Inc., the National Veterans Coalition, the Gathering of Eagles, We the Veterans, and the American GI Forum of California, among others, along with hundreds of thousands of veterans and their families, to support an immediate halt to any giveaway of any of the Los Angeles National Veterans Home property, either to a non-veterans organization or for any non-veteran-related purpose, and the revocation of any extant agreement to do so; and

Be it further resolved that the California Democratic Party convey this resolution to US Representative Henry Waxman (D CA-30), in whose district the property falls, and Representative Bob Filner (D CA-51), the Chairman of the House Veterans Affairs Committee, post haste.

Sponsored:
Sanford Cook, LCOL U S Army Retired 33rd AD, Veterans Caucus
Bob Handy, HMC U S Navy Retired, Director Region 10, Chair Veterans Caucus

Co-Sponsor:
General Joseph P. Hoar, retired U.S. Marine Corps; former Commander in Chief of United States Central Command

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And there's more. I received this in my email this morning (the photo mentioned is at the top of this blog):

Here is a photo of a Ferris wheel at a recent AIDS fundraiser held on Veterans property. It had a $1,000 per person admission. If the high mucky-muck want to use Veterans land for a fundraiser, then do it for the benefit of Veterans, i.e., for PTSD. Moreover, if they want to hold these kind of events, they need to do it at the Brentwood Country Club just 3/4 of a mile away.

What happened at this carnival fundraiser was disgraceful as there was a water slide, merry-go-round, circus tents, etc. It's painful to remind you all that this took place on sacred land where are Veterans are supposed to be healing and convalescing in quietude. Nonetheless, all of this required the approval of the VA, so both Parties are culprits. Essentially, you cannot fault the wealthy and inconsiderate members of the surrounding community, but we must fault the politicians and the VA for allowing these kind of things to take place. If they cannot be responsible stewards for the defenders of America's freedom, then it's time for the citizenry all across America to see what is taking place on Veterans sacred land while a war is being carried out.

Day Without A Gay

Due to the demands of reality in my life, I've taken a break from blogging, political stuff and worrying for a while. I've found that with that break, I feel less stressed about the world around me and more able to focus on the things I need to focus on. That and I get two days off for Thanksgiving. The bad news? It's without pay. So I'm having to work harder to try and make up the difference. GRRRR

Have you heard about the strike on December 10? Gays and lesbians across the country are planning on and encouraging others to just not go to work, not shop, dine out or purchase anything to show their strength and that their numbers do matter. In solidarity with my many lesbian sisters and gay brothers, as well as my own sweet lesbian daughter and her fiance, I will join them at least in not making any purchases that day. I do have to work because I work in the medical field and my patient's health will suffer if I don't do my job.

Go to http://www.daywithoutagay.org/ for more information.

I believe in love. I believe that we should not judge the lifestyle and sexual orientation of other people. We have not walked in their shoes, we have no idea what another person has in their heart or in their lives. In a perfect world we would all just accept one another and love each other.

We cannot help who we love.

I have come to believe, over the years and after studying most of the major religions of the world looking for that simple ribbon of truth that runs through all of them, that what really counts in life is how we treat our fellow human beings. We should all have equality in all things.

And so, for my beautiful Dani and for Lauren, and all my friends who are gay in some way, I salute you! I stand by you!

Most of all, I love you.

For all the rest of you who believe that to love another human being in whatever form that loves comes in is evil, let's pour a cup of coffee and chat.

Advice to the Republican Party

We've been hearing for days now, ever since the day after the election, that the Republican party needs to take a step back, regroup and figure out what went wrong.

As a former republican, let me give you a hint or two (or three or four or...), since you seem to be so absolutely clueless.

1. You have let far right wing extremists control your party for far too long. I am talking about those extremely conservative religions that are promoting dominionist ideologies, the end-of-times prophecies and Armageddon. Seriously, most Americans are much more rational than these deluded people. Get rid of the Hagee and Dobson and those of their ilk who have been using the republican party to promote their own interests but not those of our country as a whole. Gay/lesbian/transgender rights, human rights, abortion -- these should all be personal choices and decisions. They should not be used as tools.

2. Get rid of the lobbyists. Again, these are people who promote their own interests but do not have what is best for our country and its people as a top priority. Lobbyists and special interest groups should not be allowed to write legislation for our country. I think both parties would do well to do this.

3. The people of our country are sick and tired of being controlled through the use of fear tactics. Most of us are grown up enough to figure out what/who the bogeyman is and what we should really be afraid of. The continuous use of fear to control and manipulate us has grown old and we're not listening any more. Get a clue on this, folks. Using the middle name of Barack Obama to emotionally link him to terrorists didn't work. Using a former associate with very loose connections in Chicago did not work. At least not for most of us. The only people who really believed this crap were those who really aren't all that mentally balanced any way.

4. Dirty campaigns. Seriously, campaigning for office has become a dirty, nasty job and the American people have to put up with it. Run on what you believe in, what is best for the country and what you would do as opposed to what your opponent would do. For goodness' sake, be honest, upfront and clean. This nastiness has got to stop.

5. Move more toward the middle of the road and do something to help/protect the middle and lower classes. We're drowning out here. Most of us are honest, good, hard-working people who just want a couple extra hundred dollars extra every month to put aside for our old age, send our kids to college or just to play with. We're not asking for all that much. The rich are not paying their fair share and should be made to.

6. Affordable healthcare for everyone. I'm not talking about socialized medicine, but it would be good to put some regulation on the health insurance industry, to do something to level the playing field for all of us. My health insurance, just for me, costs $226 a month. That's for just me and my employer pays another $226 a month. If I were to add my husband to my insurance, it would cost me an additional $400 a month because my employer would not pay his portion. We could not afford $626 a month for health care. On the other hand, my husband's company offers health insurance for both of us for just a little bit more than I am currently paying for just me. We'll be making the change over at the beginning of the year.

7. Blind Patriotism. Our country was founded by men and women who were not blind, who refused to be put in a box of right or wrong and who had a dream of a better tomorrow for all of us. We were founded on the ideology that to question and to explore were good things. It is good to question (but not attack) the leaders of our government. You went along with Bush and Cheney for far too long, blindly and without question. Our country is now fighting two wars and in economic collapse. This was not patriotism and should never have been. It is now up to all of you to figure out what went wrong, fix the problem, and make sure it never happens again. You should hold those people accountable for their actions that has compromised our country so severely.

8. My very last piece of advice to the republican party would be to dump Sarah Palin. She is not representative of the majority of people in this country and she is certainly not a good roll model for those who consider themselves to be moderate, middle of the road Americans.

In Houston there has been much talk about how straight ticket voting for Democrats created a huge shift in the election. Most of the local republican encumbents for whatever office they held have been voted out and replaced by democrats. This was most obvious in the judicial bench, most republican judges are being replaced. I don't agree that straight ticket voting created this situation, however, because McCain/Palin got the votes for president, Cornyn and Culberson held their seats of power and several other republicans won. I think that, around here, people wanted to have a mix of power and felt it would level the field across the board for all of us, sort of moderate everything politically. I think that's a good idea. It forces us all to share our ideas and work together, giving no one party all the power.

Peace,
Amy

Military Families: Military Suicides Are Casualties of War

Members of Military Families Speak Out are condemning comments by the Secretary of Veterans Affairs suggesting that the dramatic increase in the suicide rate among young veterans is not connected to the war in Iraq. The suicide rate among male veterans under the age of 29 is now twice that of the general population.

In an interview aired Monday November 10th on PBS's NewsHour, Secretary of Veterans Affairs James Peake said that Veterans' suicides are the result of:

"the same kinds of issues that have to do with suicide in the general population. It is issues of failed relationships, senses of hopelessness, transitions in life, that are at the root cause . . . we're not making a direct correlation with combat."

Specialist Scott Eiswert committed suicide in May after being told by a friend that his unit of the Tennessee National Guard would be returning to Iraq. His widow, Tracy Eiswert, a member of Military Families Speak Out, expressed outrage at Secretary Peake's comments:

"I am not a statistic. We are a military family. We are real people with real experiences as a result of my husband's PTSD and his suicide. He wasn't that way before he went to Iraq, he came back changed."

After returning from a tour of duty in Iraq, Spc. Eiswert had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder by civilian doctors, but the Veterans Administration denied that his condition was the result of his experiences in Iraq. The Veterans Administration reversed that ruling in August. Tracy Eiswert said:

"It took him having to put a gun in his mouth for the military to admit that the changes in my husband were a result of the war. If they had admitted that earlier he might still be alive."

Kevin and Joyce Lucey are members of Military Families Speak Out and the parents of Corporal Jeffrey Lucey, a Marine Corps Reservist who suffered severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of his service in Iraq in 2003. Shortly after being turned away from a Veterans Administration hospital, Corporal Lucey killed himself on June 22, 2004. Kevin Lucey said:

"Secretary Peake's words are the kind of self serving comments that this nation does not need to hear from the Veterans Administration and its leadership. This is why many regard this VA administration to be steeped in disgrace and dishonor when it comes to our loved ones. They feel that they need to explain away, rationalize, justify or minimize - instead of committing their resources, time and efforts to create the best healthcare system on God's earth."

Joyce Lucey also had strong words for Secretary Peake:

"This is dishonorable, disgraceful and shameful behavior from someone who is charged with giving the best of care to our warriors. With this type of message and thinking, Is it any wonder that many of our troops and veterans don't seek help from those who are so callous and uncaring?"

Specialist Joe Hafley, a member of Iraq Veterans Against the War and Military Families Speak Out who has had to fight to get treatment for his own Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, agreed. Hafley served in Iraq with the U.S. Army Reserves from 2004-2005, and his brother, a Major with the U.S. Army Reserves is scheduled to deploy to Iraq early next year.

When Hafley returned from Iraq, the Veterans Administration diagnosed him with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and severe depression -- but ruled that none of those conditions were the result of his service in Iraq. He said:

"My treatment at the VA was belittling and frustrating. To have them diagnose me with PTSD and not attribute it to my service in Iraq is a slap in the face. To have them tell me the problems could be the result of failed relationships rather than the result of my experiences in combat makes me feel that as a veteran I have no place at the VA.

"The thing that is most baffling to me is this 800 pound gorilla in the room not being addressed. Why are we feeling hopeless? Why do we have failed relationships? The common denominator is we all served in Iraq. Maybe my feeling of hopelessness is that I served my country with honor and I am still trying to figure out for what reason? For what just cause?

"Secretary Peake, it doesn't matter how many additional mental health workers you hire if you as the person at the top still feel we are just losers that failed to adjust or that we entered our military service unfit. No amount of false support will help us."

I Just Can't Help It!

Seriously, I just can't help myself! I have to say something and I can't keep it in any longer!

I'm going to be a Grandma again! The baby is due early to mid June 2009.

Congratulations to Mark and Jaime! I'm so happy for you! Jaime had an ultrasound this afternoon and said the baby even waved at them! I remember Aiden did the same thing when he was having an ultrasound.

And I'm happy for me. I can't wait to meet this new little bundle of joy! I love being Gramma.

Same Sex Marriage

To all those who believe same sex marriage is a sin and who voted it down in California and other states, shame on you!

We cannot help who we love and we cannot help what our hearts tell us. Love is love, no matter where it comes from or what form it takes.

I dare you to look my lesbian daughter in the eye and tell her that she cannot have the same rights and freedoms and privileges you and I have because she loves someone who has the same genitals that she has. I just dare you...

I bet you could not look her in the eye and tell her no...

To love is never a sin and is never wrong. We should encourage everyone to love and be loved.
Same sex marriage is NOT just about sex any more than straight marriage is, and those of you who are so demented who think it is, you need to get a better education.

We fear what we don't understand. It is time we quit living in fear and learn to understand...
Peace,
Amy

ELECTION POST-PARTUM ‘What Do We Do With George W. Bush?’

By Robert Corsini
Although Barrack Obama consistently drew large crowds throughout his campaign, measured in the tens and even hundred of thousands, it must be remembered that the Pro-Peace movement consistently drew similar sized crowds across the country before the invasion of Iraq even started. ‘Dissent Is Patriotic’ Thomas Jefferson once pronounced and it does make a difference.

The 2004 Republican Convention in NYC for example, drew massive demonstrations against Bush Administration and 'their' war that clogged streets and city blocks in numbers that defied tabulation over the entire five day run of the convention. There is a causal relationship between the size and breadth of the Peace movement and Obama’s election – that mainstream media and the Democrats do not like to talk about. Had Obama not been on the right side of the ‘war’ debate, he never would have had the motivated base he needed to win. Now that same base will be clamoring to hold the Bush Administration accountable.

It’s been just a few days now. The pandemic euphoria of the Obama victory has only been slightly tempered by the news of massive job losses and unemployment claims. Errant military operations massacring scores of innocents in Afghanistan; The impending collapse of Pakistani civil society; And of course, all the new talk of neo-Nazi plotting within the US -- What truly would have been profound elation on my part, witnessing as we did the ascension of an African American to the Presidency of the United States of America, has been muted by reality. We live in precarious times. But the question lingering in the air like a pulse of methane remains, what do we do with George W. Bush?

On January 20, 2009 the President that Americans love to hate, leaves office. The object of profound disdain from all around the world will exit the White House with his wife Laura (maybe) and attack hound Barney under his arm. At the taxpayers’ expense, he will get into an airplane for destinations unknown. Perhaps Dubai? He leaves behind a legacy of global catastrophe that redefines ‘biblical’ scale. It’s abundantly clear to the world and at least 50% of the American population that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney have participated in criminal conspiracies that have delivered the ‘War On Terror’, the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq, economic collapse, torture, post-Katrina chaos, domestic spying -- the list of failures and crimes is as long as the President’s face. Bush has literally been responsible for destroying millions of human lives and wreaking havoc inside of foreign nations far and wide. He is and will always be remembered in history as a destroyer. A harbinger of global disunity. A tyrant.

So, what do we do with George W. Bush?

Impeach? Indict? Prosecute? Release? Pardon? Forget about? In some countries like Iraq – they simply hang their tyrants. If you thought the trial of Saddam Hussein was a circus, just wait till you get a load of George W. Bush in the docket – but where? And tried by whom? Fellow Americans? The French or Iraqis? God forbid the United Nations! And the obvious issue for President Elect Obama -- how can he display reverence for a former President who has committed so many crimes? How will he direct his Justice Department when the tsunami of post-Bush investigations, litigations and expansive revelations starts flooding the courts, halls of Congress and multi-media platforms? Does Obama have enough political capital to prosecute a former President for high crimes and misdemeanors?

Although President Elect Obama has stated that stabilizing the economic meltdown is his first order of business, the question of accountability in the American system across all sectors, including the Presidency, must be addressed quickly and honestly because they are intrinsically connected. The people of the world, including those who reside in America, have seen notions of justice and constitutionality dismembered and shredded at the hands of the George W. Bush. America is being given a chance to redeem herself in the eyes of the world with Obama – but if justice isn’t rendered, balance cannot be achieved.

The Obama honeymoon was over before it ever started. Holding the Bush Administration to account must be a priority from the moment he steps into the Oval office or he risks losing the credibility he needs to be the global leader and visionary we need him so desperately to be. Perhaps Nelson Mandella might have some suggestions on how to navigate these treacherous waters?
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We have had a rogue President and government for eight long years. Republicans and Democrats have been complicit in the crimes of the President and his office. I'm on the side that says we hold these criminals accountable for their illegal and immoral actions, whether it is here in the United States or before an international court. We need to send a clear message to any and all future leaders that this kind of activity will never be tolerated again!

I want justice... for our county, for our soldiers and their families, for the people of Iraq.

Inauguration day cannot come soon enough for me...

Peace,
Amy

Ghosts of the Past

You are tripping along at a pretty good pace in life, things are going pretty good all the way around, and all of a sudden, you hit a wall that you didn't see. It just pops up from out of nowhere and you run right smack, dab into it at full force and it knocks you for a loop. I hit one of those walls this week.

Here's the thing: we are all very much creatures created emotionally by the baggage we carry from our past, whether its bad relationships, a bad upbringing or whatever. For some of us it's a combination of things.

I have issues. I know I have issues. And sometimes these issues come up when I least expect them. Sometimes it is from my own doing, sometimes not. I have been working on these issues for a very long time. Some of my issues are the result of my upbringing and some are the result of my first marriage. Many are just because I am me.

There are people from my past that I miss very, very much. There are some that I really need to work on finding a way to forgive and there are those I have tried to have healthy relationships with, but found it impossible, so I have had to go on with my life.

I very firmly believe that people come and go in our lives for a reason. This has most certainly happened to me many times. Sometimes we don't know the reason until much, much later. A couple of those people in my life were Missy, who was my friend when I didn't know anyone in California. Our babies were the same ages and, later, after we moved to Seattle, Missy and her husband moved there too. Another was Lynn, again, my friend when I needed a friend but also a person full of joy and spontaneity who helped pull me out of myself and really pushed my rather narrow boundaries at the time. I really didn't like Lynn when I met her, but over time we became very good friends. I really miss Lynn. There was Charlie, who made me feel beautiful at a terrible time in my life. And Paul, who taught me that my heart knew no bounds unless I let it.

There were some that I had to love enough to just let them go and seek their own happiness.

Most importantly, there is Maxx, who has given me unconditional love and helped me to love and trust when I thought I could not ever again love or trust another human being. He gave me the softest place to fall and put my pieces back together when I finally broke. He understands my heart and, therefore, me, better than anyone. He has had to struggle so much in his life with many of the same issues and I believe that gives him the unique ability to just know...

I have grateful for these people, these ghosts from my past and the memories I am left with. I am grateful for the lessons, even those that sometimes bring me to my knees and leave me begging for the pain to stop. I have few regrets in my life. And I do hope I am a better, more loving and kind person because of the struggles I have had.

Peace,
Amy

Bush's Last 100 Days

BY JESSE JACKSON
The air crackles with anticipation. Fingers are crossed. It gets hard to breathe. Hope, for so long locked in a closet, begins pounding on the door.
And throwing caution to the wind, many already are talking about Barack Obama's first 100 days. Will he move directly to the Apollo investment agenda, providing money to refit buildings, implement the use of renewable energy and generate jobs in the drive to reduce our dependence on foreign oil? Will he put forth a comprehensive health-care plan or begin by covering all children? Will workers finally be given the right to organize once more? How will he handle mortgage relief and/or help cities burdened by poverty?
But even as our minds, against all discipline, look beyond this day to the possible victory and change, we'd better start paying attention to another 100 days -- President Bush's last months in office.
Bush and Vice President Cheney represent a failed conservative era -- and they know it. As the administration moves into its last 100 days, there seems to be a flurry of activity: regulations to forestall Obama's new era of accountability; a flood of contracts to reward friends and lock in commitments; a Wall Street bailout that is pumping money out the door.
Consider: Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is handing out $350 billion to the banks, drawing a special circle around nine banks -- including Goldman Sachs, the firm he previously headed -- as clearly too big to fail. The money apparently has no conditions, even though the entire purpose was to get the banks to start lending once more to one another and to companies and individuals.
Now it appears that banks plan to hoard the cash, to use it to help pay for mergers with other healthy banks (not weak ones), or to pay out dividends and bonuses. And Paulson, instead of publicly rebuking them, has let it be known that mergers would be a good thing.
Instead of getting the banking system working for small businesses and people again, our money is being used to consolidate the strength of a few megabanks.
There has been a rapid increase in military outlays over the last few months. Is the Pentagon being called on to help bolster the economy -- and perhaps McCain -- in these final weeks? Or, more likely, is the Pentagon pumping out money to reward its friends and lock in spending before the new sheriff gets to town?
The Washington Post reports that the White House is "working to enact an array of federal regulations, many of which would weaken rules aimed at protecting consumers and the environment, before President Bush leaves office in January."
About 90 new rules are in the works, and at least nine are considered "economically significant" because they would impose costs or promote societal benefits that exceed $100 million annually. Many will make changes that the new administration will find it hard to reverse for years to come. More emissions from power plants; more exemptions from environmental-impact statements; permission to operate natural gas lines at higher levels of pressure -- the changes could be the last calamities visited upon us by the Bush administration.
Congress -- the old one, not the new one just elected -- comes back into special session right after the election. Representatives Henry Waxman and John Conyers would be well advised to convene special hearings to try to curb what Bush has cooked up for his last 100 days. Let's not let the new dawn that is possible be dimmed by clouds left over from an old era that has failed.

Barack Obama Wins!!!

Thank God!

I am humbled and I am proud.

Please, dear God/Goddess, keep him safe...

I'm feeling emotional

and I really wasn't going to post anything personal today. My plan was just to work my shift at work, eat some dinner and maybe go to an election watch somewhere in Houston tonight.

But my heart is just so full and I'm feeling anxious. After tonight, hopefully, we will know who our next President is. While I do not pin every hope on Obama, I do feel that there will be some change and maybe I can breathe a sign of relief that we will no longer be under Republican rule.
I voted for Obama three times -- once in the primary, again at the convention and again in the general election. Three times I have expressed my will.

If McCain somehow manages to pull it off and become president, I don't know what I'll do, but it certainly will not be breathing a long sigh of relief.

I'm holding my breath, crossing my fingers and hoping....

Reflections From Cindy Sheehan

From left to right: Dede Miller, Cindy Sheehan, Amy Branham. August 2005, the day we left for Crawford, Texas to challenge President Bush

First, a personal note. I wish I lived in Cindy's district so I could vote for her. I know her to be one of the most honest, trustworthy and loving people I have ever met. She is my friend and has been for several years now, starting in 2005, months before the two of us marched into Crawford in the bar ditches, two mothers asking President Bush, "What Noble Cause?". Cindy went on to pursue a political career. I went home to put my life back together. I have not seen Cindy in over a year but we still keep in touch. I send her my love and my support. And I hope you will vote for her!

Peace,
Amy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First of all, I would like to announce that Nancy Pelosi NEVER agreed to debate me and her other two opponents. Last week, on KQED, she said that she would "never hesitate" to debate anyone, but HER OFFICE WOULD NEVER EVEN ANSWER US! She has NEVER debated anyone. Pelosi knows that she has an indefensibly deplorable record and that I would show her for the hypocrite that she is. It's one thing to say that she is against the occupation of Iraq and then continue to fund it. It's one thing to tell the Wall Street banksters that the "party is over" but then give them 700 billion dollars to continue whooping it up on taxpayer's money. It's one thing to say that she represents San Francisco values but then does not impeach the most criminally corrupt President in history against the wishes of her district. Pelosi should have had the courage and respect for her constituents and the democratic process to answer why she gave Bush and the telecom companies immunity from spying on us without warrants and why she allowed the war criminals to continue their policy of torture. Pelosi knew that debating me would be a disaster for her, so although she's been in the district for many days now doing interviews and fund raisers her time was "compressed" and she didn't have time to face her opponents and the voters of California's 8th district.

Last night, Cindy for Congress had one final volunteer meeting before the polls open at 7 AM today. A young Latino gentleman, whom I have never met before, came into HQ and told me that he waited in line at City Hall (for 4 hours, that's another entire conversation) to early vote and he talked to 40 people who all voted for me. Not one person he talked to voted for Pelosi. I got this email from a voter named Matthew this morning:

I have voted early and voted democrat for all seats but sf's 8th district. I VOTED FOR YOU.I worry how Ms. Pelosi can be outed (sic) since I can't find one person who voted for her.

Our volunteers who were out doing visibility and canvassing today reported overwhelmingly positive experiences and I have had the same sort of experiences myself lately as I have been out campaigning. It seems like there has been such a shift in this city since we qualified for the ballot in early August.

In talking to our staff and volunteers tonight and reflecting on the past 15 months of campaigning, I realized that I had many false assumptions about how the campaign would run and am gratified at how great things did turn out!

When we first came here in August of 2007, we had a dinner for some of our friends and activists here in town. I believed that my campaign would get a lot of support from the anti-war movement, but even though many of the groups/leaders have endorsed Obama (who is not a "peace candidate" by any stretch of the imagination), they claimed that they couldn't endorse or help me because of "non-profit" status. Consequently, the natural base that we believed that we would have did not materialize and we had to seek support elsewhere to build our campaign.
Secondly, back in August 2007, no one had any idea who would be the nominees for President. I knew, however, (based on history) that the Presidential race would not focus on important issues, and I have been proven to be correct. We have had a 24/7 dosage of candidate associations; flag lapel pins; who loves Jesus or America more and how much is spent on clothes or how many houses each candidate owns.

I believed that the race in California's 8th district would be the perfect chance to put important issues into the national dialogue since I was running against the Speaker of the House and I did already have name recognition and had been in the media previously. I never anticipated the near total black out of news about the campaign from establishment/corporate media! Even most of my so-called progressive media friends shut me out. Only KPFA and Green 960 gave me a platform with token appearances on other sources. The SF Chronicle only covered the campaign when it would have been patently obvious that they were ignoring Cindy for Congress. We have brought up serious solutions to the profound problems this district and nation face and the black out of our campaign is disgraceful and so transparent. Nancy Pelosi has done several interviews here in the district in the past week and I want to know how that can be fair when she has a fierce competitor who has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars here in the district campaigning against her? I am actually the only person running for Congress here who is actually campaigning and the media has shamefully continued their fantasy of one-party rule here in San Francisco.

Despite the challenges, I am so proud of this campaign. We have raised a decent amount of money without party backing and having to build our base from scratch. We have placed thousands of signs and tens of thousands of pieces of literature all over the district. Hundreds of people have made thousands of phone calls for us and we made history by even getting on the ballot!

The thing I am most proud of, though, is that CFC never sold out our vision or our principles for money or votes. We were told by early "consultants" that I should change my message (ie: not talk about peace or impeachment or the toxic problems of Bay View) and change the way I dress, talk, and write. Our "consultant" actually came to me with an offer for tens of thousands of dollars from Tom Delay's (dirty, former House Majority Leader from Texas that was forced to resign from Congress in disgrace) PAC! As you can imagine, that "consultant" did not last long!
Cindy for Congress has won victories every day that our office stayed open despite the attacks and the marginalization of our campaign. We ran a courageous campaign and hung in there with our platform and vision even when the days were darkest and we couldn't pay our rent. We never gave up and we never once doubted that what we are doing is the absolute right and honorable thing to do.

Win or lose today, I am winning or losing with my integrity and our vision intact. We have been supported by so many of you that it will continue to grow and blossom and Nov. 4th is only the beginning of a movement that just also happened to be a political campaign.

Thank you so much for your incredible support. I am honored by your confidence and your commitment to hope that comes from true change.

Stay tuned for breaking news from the campaign throughout the day!

On our way to VICTORY!

Love & Peace
Cindy

Watch this great video/song called "Hey, Hey Nancy"

Barack Obama's Grandmother Passed Away Today

To Senator Obama and your family, I send my love and my sincerest condolences.

For the woman you called Grandmother, the ordinary woman who helped to raise such an extraordinary man, I give my grateful thanks. I honor her life and the love she gave your family.

This nation will mourn herr passing with you. And, although we did not know her, we will, on bended knee, honor her and her life.

With a very sad heart,
Amy

The Day Before the Election

It's the day before what I consider the most important election in the history of this country. At the very least, it is the most important election in my lifetime -- and that's not even counting the historical significance of possibly electing the first black man as the President of our country.

I've been thinking about how people have been registering to vote by the millions all over this country. So many of them are first-time voters. In the states where there is early voting, people have been willing to wait for hours and hours to get their chance to cast their ballot. We are in the midst of what is expected to be the largest voter turn out in recent history!

One has to ask why there is so much interest in this election. My opinion is there are several reasons.

First and foremost is that the last two election cycles put someone into office that was not truly chosen by The People. The first GWB was handed the presidency by the Supreme Court via Florida. In the second, he was again given the presidency because of problems and miscounts and such in Ohio.

I think The People in this country want to send a message, a very loud and clear message, that says, "Let there be no mistake this time. Let there be no question. THIS is who we want to lead our country."

The next reason is that, because of the disastrous terms of GWB leading our country, we are much, much worse off today than we were two years ago, four years ago and yes, even eight years ago when he first took office. We are fighting two wars, our economy is collapsing, jobs are disappearing and we all generally feel both hopeless and helpless. The only recourse for the average American citizen is to cast their ballot for change.

We don't want another Republican in office who will produce more of the same -- if not worse -- policies of his predessor. We want someone who will give new life, new ideas, new hope to our country and government. Barack Obama campaigned on Hope and Change. Our country is so desperate for this, so in need of hope. And we are placing, in ever increasing numbers, our hope on the senator from Illinois.

Even in Texas, the current President's home state, things are changing. Polls show that McCain/Palin are ahead for the nation's highest office. However, I think the democrats are going to pull out a victory at the local level. We may just turn blue in Houston after all.

This morning I was perusing the Houston Chronicle's online endorsements. They are almost solidly democrat with a few republican endorsements scattered throughout. You can see for yourself at http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/politics/recommendations/6089403.html

There is, finally, some small measure of hope for our country. However, after the past few election cycles and their problems, I will not relax until after Tuesday night when all the votes are counted. I think then our nation will be able to start to breathe a sigh of relief that our national nightmare will soon be over. It will be a long road to rebuilding what has been destroyed, but we can begin anew.

In peace,
Amy

Collections

I walked into my kitchen this morning, fresh out of bed and all bleary eyed, ready to get the daily pot of coffee brewing. As I surveyed the kitchen, I just wanted to turn around and go back to bed. I hadn't done the dishes since Friday night as I got really involved in working on the quilt I'm making for my son-in-law's birthday (a special request from him) and trying to get it done in time to send it to him in Iraq. So, there I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen and I saw coffee cups everywhere!

I swear, those things replicate themselves if you don't keep an eye on them. Seriously.

One time when I was moving from one apartment into a different dwelling place, I started packing early. Among the first items to be packed were the coffee mugs. I left out three or four but packed all the rest. Before the week was over they had multiplied! I probably ended up packing another dozen coffee mugs before we finished that move. Where do they come from?

Okay, I admit it, I am a collector of things. I especially love coffee mugs. Any time I go visit some new place I buy a coffee mug. We have mugs from Arizona, New Mexico and Utah. We have mugs from the Library of Congress in Washington D.C. But I also love coffee mugs that represent things I have done, like the two we have from when we went to see Cirque du Soleil a couple of years ago or the red and white mug from the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston and the mug from the Leonardo Di Vinci exhibit earlier this year.

I have a very fine specimen of a mug that is a pink flamingo (I just cannot resist pink flamingos!), the handle is the flamingo's neck and head! I love drinking from that mug on bright, sunny mornings!

We have a set of Coke coffee mugs that Maxx bought before we met. I love Coke collectibles, so I knew I was in the right place when I saw those shortly after we met! And, yes, I do have a collection of Coca-Cola stuff, including cookie jars and salt and pepper shakers, a telephone and a lamp, among other things!

Then there are all the coffee mugs that came with dishes we bought. Maxx had a great set of dishes that represent being at a sunny beach with bright colors. Lots of mugs with that set. We bought a set of Blue Willow China from a little old lady who used to be our neighbor, and it has coffee mugs. And that Blue Willow China is from Great Britain, bought by her mother when she was a newly wed about ninty years ago.

We have a set of coffee mugs that came with the dishes we bought together a few years ago for a Thanksgiving gathering of our clan. I think there are a couple dozen coffee mugs from that.

Then there are the various and sundry coffee mugs from employers and other businesses and even just the crazy mugs I like to buy because I like the color or the saying on them.

I mentioned the Coke collectibles and the Blue Willow China. But there are other collections as well. My husband inherited his grandmothers salt and pepper shaker collection years ago and we have added to that. You wouldn't believe this collection! It takes up a whole display case in our dining room, wall to wall, every shelf! There are so many salt and pepper shakers that they have overflowed into my kitchen.

My husband collects 1:18 scale cars. They are everywhere, boxed and unboxed. We have a collection of action figures -- not the comic action figures, but things like Frankenfurter, Austin Powers, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, etc. I have a small collection of Pez dispensers. There are some political buttons and signs from elections in the past and from events we have participated in.

We have a small but growing collection of cookie jars.

I love books. So have a good collection of books, some of them are still in boxes because I don't have a place to put them, but I cannot part with them.

We have a DVD and VCR movie collection. There is a collection of electronic cables and cords stored in a box or two somewhere in the storage room. There are collections of Maxx's art work and tools, my collection of fabric and patterns, posters, seashells and rocks.

Yes, I said rocks. I have to grab a rock from everywhere I go if it's a new place or has some kind of significance to me. I have had people bring me rocks from their trips to variuos locations around the world and the country. Many of them end up displayed in a huge glass vase in my living room, but the most precious are kept safely tucked away.

I have a collection of Anne Rice comic books and playing cards (among other things).

And there is the precious collection of baseball cards that belonged to my son. We started collecting them when he was a little boy. They are all safely in a binder in their nice baseball card sheets, someday to be given to my grandson when he is old enough to take care of them and appreciate them.

I think our collections are outgrowing our home -- and we have a pretty decent sized house!

My mother told me once that I collected "odd" people to be my friends... Maybe she is right, but I don't consider people to be a collection. I just like people who think outside of the box!

These are the "things" that help me to know I am at home. And yet, they are only things, and while I enjoy them, they are not what makes my home feel like home. It would be difficult to part with them, but I could and I would -- and we have -- sell them if need be.

Peace,
Amy

The Real America Vs. the Republican Party of Intolerance

A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
Message to the Republican Party: The "Real America" is not a region, religion or a demographic of people – and it is not rallies composed of rowdy, bigoted hooligans.

The "Real America" is a gift given to us in the form of the Constitution and a system of government that guarantees rule by the consent of the governed – and that includes all citizens who are eligible to vote – and a nation that abides by the rule of law.

A BuzzFlash reader recently sent us this quotation from Robert F. Kennedy:

What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists, is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.

Forty years after his assassination – during a decade when the guns of intolerance attempted to shoot down the "Real America" – Robert F. Kennedy could not have more aptly described and pinpointed the grotesque character of the Republican Party since the advent of Richard M. Nixon.

As we know, the smug, hateful, religious extremist, and morally reprehensible heart of the GOP has beat all the stronger over the last 8 years. It has reached a new level of a Frankenstein parody of the "Real America" – our Constitution and our system of checks and balances – during the McCain campaign.

The genius of the American Revolution was that it gave birth to a nation that allowed for a country that was Constitutionally bound to refresh its leadership on an ongoing basis, subject to the choice of its citizens – and put into place a balanced system of checks and balances to ensure that no branch of government became too powerful or "monarchal" in nature.

The "Real America" is written into our founding documents, not into a self-anointed mob of self-righteous and ethically-challenged members of one political party.

We detest the exclusionary, greedy arc of the Republican Party since Nixon, but we don’t deny the right of the haters and bullies to share this nation with those who understand our Constitutional roots. We are all part of one national community with the right to disagree about ideas

We are, after all, a nation of inclusion, not exclusion. The "Real America" is a concept shared, an adopted identity (for we are all – except Native Americans – descendants of immigrants to this land) that champions liberty, religious freedom, economic opportunity on a level playing field, and complete freedom without regard to ethnic, gender or social background.

In 2008, we have a choice between the faux "Real Americans" who promote intolerance with incendiary rhetoric and a wink and a nod – and the "Real America," a leader who bases his principles on the Constitution and the rule of law.

The choice should not be a hard one to make if you believe in the "Real America" of the promise of this great experiment in democracy.

BuzzFlash proudly endorses Barack Obama for President of the United States.
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I couldn't have stated this better myself. Thanks, BuzzFlash